I sleep. I sleep talk. I haven't had a decent sleep in so long. I dream. I dream about nothing. Senseless cryptic scenarios. I have the worst anxiety. I always over think situations. I over stress. I work too hard to get no where. I am strong. I have to be. I have to live. I live, to keep on living for those around me. I'm not sure where I am. Or where I'm going. All I know is the train is coming soon and I have to be on it. It's a train going any where and I can't wait to be on it one day. I feel compassion toward strangers. My mind is everything to me. I create. I imagine. It's all I have. Words mean nothing to me. I keep my pride and dignity in check. Over the past week I have been anything but calm. University is getting harder and harder every semester and everyday. I need to relax my mind and expect the worst. Because the worst usually comes with surprising result.
When I was little I use to always feel homesick even when I'm home. Even when my family and friends were with me. I still do sometimes. I use to always talk about this 'feeling' because I can't figure out why I feel like this....Every time I walk past someone I always think about what that person was like as a child, a teenager, leading to their present self. Who or what made them who they are today. I always wonder.
I can never really understand people. I don't think in this life anybody can. We will always be lost in our own world. The best thing we can do and the best God given thing we can ever do is learn. Learn to love. Learn to create. Learn to play. Learn to smile. As long as we are happy, then it's okay.
I don' ever regret feeling down. It's part of the human emotion. We are condition in a way in which emotions are personal and shared.
No comments:
Post a Comment