I'm going to sleep my feelings way, thank you moon lights.

I feel like I'm drowning in a cold sea full of strangers. I am on my own. I close my eyes and before I jump, I re-collect every pieces of my childhood, my innocent, before I knew what real emotions were. But I can't. I can't pin point those moments. It's lost in a pile of unwanted waste. I'm fragile, and I will break at the first chance God lets me.

I am in a constant war with myself. It's never ending.

I write things. I say things. I keep things. I think things. All which makes me, me. I hate anger, I hate frustration, I hate stress and I hate yelling. I try to stay clam. It's rare for me to yell. I put my head up high. I hate wasting time. We all are busy creatures.

My mind is constantly running. I can feel it. I think too much about the past, the present and the future. I can't help myself. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I spend so much time in solitude. Maybe it's because my mind feels like it's always in solitude and that thinking about everything makes it feel warm and comfort. My dreams are lucid and my nightmares contain parts of my reality. Everything is connected. I don't control anything. The more I write, the more I understand why I do the things I do and think the way I think. It's a way for me to figure myself out.

I don't like telling people what I think about, because I know it will hurt them. I don't like hurting others. When I actually have something to tell them, I will. I put others before me, because I know most of the time I will be okay. I always recover from most situation. I don't like showing emotions that a frown upon in society. I am clam and collected.

Today I received my mark back for my media law essay. I'm not happy with the mark, but that's okay, because there is always a chance for improvement. I will do and try much harder in the next one. It's going to be okay.

I've been looking at apartments in Melbourne, and some are pretty cool, especially the building. I can't wait to move there and decorate my own place. I now know how much more I need to save. I wont be there for a while, but it's always good to check the real estate out. I miss it so much.

I need to get away from here. My mind needs a rest.