I keep thinking about the past. I know it's not healthy, I just can't help it. I wish I didn't get hurt so much back then. I felt like everything that had happened was slowy draining my soul. I would wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares. Crying at three in the morning. I didn't want to get out of bed. I felt like dirt, I was constantly hurting and I felt restless for so long. I kept wishing things would get better and everything bad would eventually end. It didn't for a very long time.

Now everything is improving. Everything is different, and I'm still trying to figure out why I keep thinking about the past. Maybe because it had scarred my body and soul. I think it already has. Maybe because I'm not ready to forgive and forget yet. I don't think I am. I don't know when I'll be able to. All I know is the first step I'm taking is to stop thinking about the bad events in the past. I am stronger than that. I'm still standing even after all those hurt.